Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An identity crisis...

Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!...Where are my certificates!!!. i have been searching in my cupboard for 2 hrs now and i dont find them...where are they!!!...i am sure i gave them to you and as usual would have put that so safe that you forgot where you put them...Now i want you to help me find my certificates right away!!.I have got the US visa interview on 30th Jan!!

Jan 17, 2009 - 12:00 AM - "Listen Dude, I want you to go to US for the forth coming project and ensure that it is delivered fine. pls make arrangements for your visa and other stuff"...I broke into a smile and said "OK Boss".

Jan 17,2009 10:00 AM : I was collecting all the paper work that was supposed to be submitted to my office Immigration department and was running around my house in Hyderabad searching for them..All that i had to submit was copies of my birth certificate, 10th, 12th, Graduation, Post Graduation Memos and the Degree certifcates, Voter's id Card.

Mysteriously everything except for my driving license and company id card everything else was MISSING! The very documents which prove my existentence on this earth were missing.

My Mom, Dad and I searched every corner of the house - under the mattresses, sofa covers, every closet and cupboard, suit cases and everywhere else where anyone of us would possibly store some form of paper.But to no avail..

This was a worst possible identity crisis anyone ever could face, and at a time when i was making some head way in my career. Imagine if I couldnt make it to the project just because i dont have the right papers to get a visa. How ridiculous it could turn out!

Jan 18, 2009 10:00 PM : My search in the house was over. I was in my worst senses and everything was going blank, I was thinking how could this possibly happen just at the time when i needed them. The below par certificates which never helped me anywhere were being put to some use today, and suddenly they cease to exist???...What is happening God!!.

Then a thought struck me; may be thinking backwards might help...when was the last time i saw them??? ---Yes! it was Nov 18, 2008. I remember the day very well as i went with the lot to renew my passport. I had shown them to the passport officer to validate my existence and authenticity...Yes!!..that was then..what did i do with them again??? Logically speaking they should have been kept somewhere at home because I came home straight, put my documents in the backpack at home and then went out...where is the possibility of missing them?

Could I possibly have left my certificates there ??



Then another thought struck...the next day after the passport interview i travelled to Chennai - the place I work and i carried the backpack along with me. Did i take them with me to Chennai? if so how fast will i know if they are all there in Chennai!

Unfortunately then i had to wait for atleast 12 hrs to know whether they are there in Chennai or not just because it was Sankranthi festival season and all my roomates went to their natives just as i came to Hyderabad, and everyone were regrouping some time on Jan 19th or 20th. The first guy would arrive only the next morning, that means a 12 hr agonizing wait, and if he says there are no certificates there what am i going to do??

Such thoughts kept me busy all night and i was making plans just in case if there are no certificates in Chennai or if I donot find them at the passport office - lost and found department..

In the midst of this crisis, I prayed God requesting him to get me my certificates back within a day and i will do all the pious deeds which will make him proud!! (HEEEE!!..i made a lot of promises which i dont think i have kept)

Until early next morning i was going through a lot of material on internet on how to apply for duplicates and what would be the lead time to get them..

The trouble was since every department or state govt office was distributed across the city and since I just had one day to apply for everything to get everything before 30th Jan, i was making plans on when do i start in the day, which would be the first dept i approach, how much time can i spend there, who would be the incharge person to meet so on and so forth (basically drawing a critical path with all parameters)...I wanted to use the Sunday next morning to get all the possible work done..something like a police FIR just before i go on a quest to apply for my duplicates..i was making notes on every bit of info available at 3:00AM in the night and gradually i closed my eyes for the day involuntarily..



Jan 19th, 2009 8:30 AM "Dinesh!..wake up...wake up..did you tell anyone in the night to get your certificates?" my Mom asked me curiously...I was in a puzzled state of mind and nodded my head horizontally to symoblise i didnt ask any one.."There are 2 people waiting outside for you. They came searching for you and asked me if you have lost any certificates"...this time when she said "certificates" my mind lit up and i jumped out of bed and ran to my door...I saw 2 people standing there and i immediately greeted them...they verified that it was my house and i was the right guy they are interacting with and then showed me a large cover and asked if it was mine. I grabbed it from them and immediately went through them... YES!!!!!!!!!! They were all my certificates and documents..all Original and intact!!!...I almost shouted thanking God for listening to me so instantly and getting what i wanted..


When my senses calmed down, I thanked them with all the warmth i could share and asked them where did they find the large cover. " I found it at the passport office near the Cash counter..." said the gentleman who found my papers . At an instant the scene flashed in front of me when i unwittingly got them out of my back pack to check if everything was intact and failed to keep them back in the bag.


To my luck the cover had my address written in detail on it. The cover was sent to me by my University with the degree inside and it being of good quality i put all my other papers into that to keep them safe.

Apparently the 2 gentlemen were from Warangal..a place 140km away from Hyderabad and had come to my place 3 times since Nov 18th to give me my certificates and each time they came, it was a working day and so they couldnt find anyone at home. They didnt want to give them to any of my neighbours for some reasons they felt justified.

How oblivious was i to the fact that i LOST my certificates and did not realise for more than 2 months! and just when i wanted them, someone from nowhere turns up to my door and deliver them relieving me of all the agony i faced for 1 day. Certainly it was a Miracle..I regained my identity of the last 24 yrs of my life! Thanks to my Mom who prayed for me all night!

PS: In the midst of all this Drama;..there was a sunday special Movie - Sainikudu (telugu) running in one of the channels..Most of the time Trisha misspells Certificates as CERFTICKETS..insiting on it time and again..which i felt was like rubbing Salt to the wounds!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Rakhi Rakhi..Curfew

When i was doing my MBA in Pune...the first ever so called exciting festival that happened was the Friendship day..
Being really fresh into the college and being new to to the CO - ED Hostel culture.., the first few days were really awesome..we would try to know one another..smile at each and every passerby, greeting with a handshake and so on..every girl would then appear really beautiful, all the guys really friendly..(mind you opinion changes as time passes by)
So naturally the first known fest would definitely be the best and it so happened that it was the Friendship day..
The college atmosphere on the night (happened to be Sat night) before the Friendship day was really electric..there was a DJ party and when the clock struck 12 it was chaos..a happy ROAR from everyone.."HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!" and everyone went about greeting each other..decent guys shook hands, a little more decent guys hugged everyone..a few broke into jungle dances as well..but it was all fun..every guy was a master joke cracker that day...every girl was a miss universe who happened to be friendly...

Every one was the BEST friend of each other that day!

The fun went on till 2 in the morning and every one left after a very greeting a painful good bye and good nights..
Next morning (The Friendship day) was again a day of greets and hugs and socialising..soon the atmosphere died down and everyone retired to their dens in the evening..\
Life carried there on..
A few days (infact 4 or 5 days) later was the most important festival of Indian culture - The Raksha Bandhan, a festival for Siblings to express their love and respect for each other..
A festival which reiterates that Sister's happiness is the supreme responsibility of a brother..

Enter Raksha Bandhan -- My college hostel from a day before was the most deserted place..except for the support staff (cleaning staff, Canteen staff etc.) there were hardly any one visible..every one stuck to their rooms and never left it until they were sure that they avoided eye contact with their most beloved girl/guy..the sense of INSECURITY was amazing to see. Though there were a few stray incidents like a guy getting a Rakhi tied on his wrist by his dream girl..or a girl persuaded to tie a Rakhi by her Rambo..the day remained uneasily calm and uneventful..just like a CURFEW...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mouse Hunt

"What 650 rupees to drill a hole through..."

" Yes Sir, as a policy, we charge Rs 650 for a field engineer visit ".

"But it is just a damn hole that he has to drill through a window frame...it wouldnt cost half of it to rent a drilling machine!!.."

I am actually helpless Sir..for any queries you can contact the series of phone nos ..you can fight your way through the IVR and register a complaint...

"Dude..listen!!!..it is just a hole you have to drill through..Your guys did an improper installation of the Set Top Box because of which my house has become a mess!..And i want you to fix it because you are the culprits..All that you had to do was to ensure you pass the wire properly instead of just letting it out through the window opening such irresponsibly.."



"what ever it is Sir..it is a fixed cost that you need to pay for a field engineer visit.."

"Alright then..I guess I am wasting your time convincing you that the fault is yours...any ways..thanks for the fanstastic service".. "THIK"...the worst possible way i ever cut a call on the mobile..

The (w)hole point of calling the above human trained to give mechanical answers was because of the window which was left open for the cable wire to pass through, and providing a grand entry to the Mouse community which came along with the famous Nov floods into my shared apartment in Chennai..



One bloody such creature (which i killed later..more details later) never left anything soft rubberish type of stuff without nibbling and chip it into bits and pieces...Shoes, Sandals, Chappals, Cricket Balls, Water bottles, nothing was spared..

And the worst part was that it used to shit around in black solid pellets...the entire collection by the night used to be around 500 on an avg which was swept off religiously so that it could begin it all over again..

The 1.5 kg creature venturedin the night..when all would be asleep...during the day..when we were busy doing our daily chores...during the evenings when none of us would be there..(i wanted to convey my frustration that it was more of the bandicoot's house than ours) and make merry shitting around..

All methods to lock the window without causing damage to the wire passing through did not materialise..

Oh forgot to tell you...the wire was its daily break fast..eating it as if a kid would rip pieces from a sugar cane...

After a few attempts to close the window by taking pro help did not work out (650 bucks you see!!!)...I then made a resolution on dec 31(BTW, this was during the Dec 08 - Jan 09 season of misadventures) to put an end to this menace..

I guess you are now familiar with the Ghajini's killing style....the villain Ghajini bangs an iron rod on the head repeatedly to kill Asin...

It was a similar situation i captured the bandicoot in my room( purely by chance..it happened to be there just when i entered my room late in the night)...i banged a make shift cricket bat right into its head twice....not satisfied by the simple way it got killed in seconds i hit it again to break its face and teeth...Blood OOzed out and i just loved it..

All the 400-500 odd shit pellets along with the pellet maker were swept off..and i sanitised the entire place...Relieved finally that the mess maker was dead, i slept contented...

The susbsequent weekend we found an electrician who drilled a hole for us and inserted the wire through for 30 rupees!!
Prevention is better than a hole You see!